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"The Qualities Of A Coach"
By Susan Patria
East Hartford High School
East Hartford, Connecticut
Boys' and Girls' Varsity Volleyball Coach
The quest for connectedness is embedded in our lives. Lives as a coach, as a teacher, as a parent, as a person, as a spouse, are all intertwined. As teachers and coaches our values, our morals, our ethics are not something that is usually brought out into the open. But can we truly do that? Aren't we who we are because of our spirit? Today I am a teacher, this afternoon I am a coach and tonight I am a wife and mother. I am the same, morning, noon and night, not different. Part of my life starts where the other ends. We are who we are!
Our lives can be compared to the making of a quilt. The creator chooses the material, oh so carefully, cuts it, matches it, and sews it, into different sizes, shapes, and colors. The crafter plays with the pieces of different sizes, shapes and colors, works with them, molds them, shapes them, trims them and puts them together so they all fit. When they fit together, all the little and big pieces look beautiful together. The many pieces work by themselves, but together they are special. Together they work, they are a piece of art, they are beautiful together, and they are meant to be one. How did it happen? It doesn't just happen. Someone, the person who created that quilt, thought hard, worked hard, fitted and molded, adjusted and readjusted until it becomes a match, a work of art, a masterpiece.
That is how a team, a family, a classroom of young people is put together. We are all teachers from the time we are very young. I learn everyday about life, about people, from the very people who are entrusted to me everyday. I am different, yet the same in the classroom, in the gym, in my home. That hat I wear has a different style, a different color, a different fit, but it still fits my head. I still put each hat on my head, wear it with style and am still the same person. It is the same with my life.
Over the last thirty years my teams have been part of my life, are my life. My own children have been part of my teams' lives. My spouse, who listens to my problems, listens to my joys, listens to me about school, as well as players on the team, and the students in my classes, are all ingrained in who I am as a person.
I am a coach in every aspect of my life. I would be a fraud, an untrustworthy person if I was different in the gym, different in the classroom than I am in the rest of my life. The players, the students are treated like my own children would be. I treat all with respect, with love, with compassion about who they are and who they will become some day. I remember my daughter one day said to me," Mom, why don't you ever get mad at your students, or dislike them when they act the way they sometimes do." I thought about it for a second and said," because everyone has good in them to give, some just take a little more time to realize that themselves." That's what makes being part of their lives so exciting and challenging. Sometimes you see that change, but other times you just hope that they will "get it" someday. That is why I teach, that is why I coach, and that is why I am a mother.
Coaching doesn't stop at five o'clock when practice is over. Coaching is all day, all season, pre-season and post-season. A good coach thinks, sleeps and eats around the thoughts of his/her team, students and children. All day the coach prepares, worries, calculates, changes, inspires and believes in them. A coach takes players, as part of the team and molds, works, scolds, praises, cajoles and teaches them to be the best that they can be. Each member of the team is a part of the bigger picture. The smaller parts must understand or buy in to the whole picture. In return the coach receives so much more than what he/she gave - respect, compassion, discipline, understanding, trust and integrity. It is so rewarding to watch your children grow and mature in ways you never dreamed they could.
A coach nurtures a team and a family in much the same way. A child's development, a child's personality, a child's self-esteem are delicate and fragile. Every adult who comes in contact with a child's life has an opportunity to influence and leave lasting impressions beyond the season, for the rest of that child's life. Parents hope that their children get a coach who is positive, who is honest, and who is fair. Parents hope that their child's coach instills in their child the values that they feel will make their child a better person. That is most important. Teams win and teams lose. The winning team has a coach who cares about his or her players. A winning coach is one that knows that every moment with that child, that student, that athlete has meaning that transcends that moment.
That is what a coach is, at least this coach!
"Basketball: Respect for the game, Respect for your opponent"
by George Blaney
University of Connecticut
Men's Assistant Basketball Coach
I always thought one of the great things about playing basketball was that it taught you how to win and lose. Long before replays, high fives, and celebration for individual play, the game was taught by coaches that preached respect for the game and respect for your opponent.
Respect for the game: This meant that you understood how hard it was to be good at this game - that you needed to be strong in your mind and your discipline, as well as strong in your body - that you needed to play together with your teammates and sacrifice some of your individual game for the betterment of the team - that you needed to understand the concept that to be totally unselfish sometimes you need to be selfish - that the fundamentals of the game are the beauty of the game.
Respect for your opponent: This meant that he may be more talented than you or that he worked as hard or even harder than you to get to his level - that you competed against him in the very best manner by not taking any short cuts - that you gave credit to your opponent in your own mind when he executed a good play (you didn't allow yourself to blame someone else - your teammate, the officials, the coaches) - you played hard and clean - you shook your opponents hand before the game, looked him in the eye and said let's play - you shook his hand after the game, looked him in the eye and knew you had given your best effort.
In order to bring sportsmanship back to the game of basketball and to sport in general, coaches, parents and teachers must return to teaching this respect. It can be taught and must be taught. Overcoming the marketing of the individual over the team - overcoming the constant barrage of individual replays of spectacular plays and unsportsmanlike plays - overcoming the celebrations of almost any kind of good play will be a monster task. The game is good enough to stand on its own merit; the individual's glory will come as a result of the success of the group. Coaches, parents, and teachers are the ones that can cause this change to happen. It is not an overnight process. We will not get "Instant Sportsmanship," but we will get change, we will and can get better quickly.
The last thought to be considered here is that we must be able to better communicate what sportsmanship really is. Too often in our attempts to make players compete harder, to actually teach them how to compete, there is a fine line between toughness and sportsmanship. This causes confusion and in many cases an unwillingness to play as a sportsman. Teaching someone to compete must include the concept that it must be done fairly and within the spirit of the rules.
When the game is played in this spirit there is a feeling of enormous accomplishment and a feeling that you can take to other parts of your life. It takes you beyond yourself and helps you to try to make others better.
I see a great opportunity for basketball to make a huge impact on bringing civility back to the game and ultimately sportsmanship.
"My Baby and Me: Life as a Parent in Today's Competitive World"
by Eileen M. Angelini, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Foreign Languages,
Director of the Foreign Language Program
Philadelphia University
As a first-time parent, I have become increasingly sensitive to the alarming rate at which fathers and mothers are developing into over-zealous "sports parents." I cringe when I hear my brother complaining about how his son's volunteer football coach does not know how to run tackling drills. Or, when my neighbors' daughter comes home from a soccer game with her head hanging low because she didn't score the game's winning goal, I feel so frustrated that this little girl does not feel good about herself and her soccer abilities. Worse still is the parental brawl that ensued on the field at Villanova University after a Pop Warner football game in November of 2000. Are those players proud of or embarrassed by their parents' actions? Hopefully, they are ashamed. At least we are able to applaud the efforts of Upper Dublin Township, who in response to the Villanova debacle, now has "Silent Games." At "Silent Games," cheering or jousting in the stands is no longer allowed; only the coaches calls to his or her players and calls among the players are permitted.
However, what really scares me is how early the competitiveness in our society starts. Six weeks after I gave birth to my daughter Maureen in January of 2000, I joined my hospital's recovery exercise program. The program is designed to show new mothers how to exercise safely with their babies. At first, the new moms are just trying to get back into shape as they learn how to do abdominal crunches with their babies riding on their stomachs and how to carry the baby so as to build muscle tone. It is also very comforting to have friends with whom to compare notes about colic and diaper rash. But slowly things begin to change. As the children progress from one developmental stage to another, the bragging starts: "Johnny cut his first teeth at three months"; "Susie took her first steps at seven months"; and of course, the big favorite, "Caroline called me mama today." To be fair, it is hard not to be competitive in this situation since as a new parent, one is so proud of one's offspring. Plus, from the very beginning, literally in the delivery room, the baby is being measured and weighed and then compared to national charts and percentages. With this constant emphasis on test results, a new parent cannot help but to be concerned if his or her child falls below national averages. And when the child falls above national averages, relief develops into pride. Thankfully for me an intelligent pediatrician advised me not to worry about when or how fast my daughter would reach childhood milestones because she would reach each and every one of them when she was ready.
Yet, a broad line must be drawn between healthy concern and outright competitiveness. Healthy competition at the appropriate age of emotional development is good but not if it leads to "sports rage" on the part of the parents. Indeed, we all need a proper means of assessing our children's development, whether it be through medical or school examinations, and we definitely all have the right to be proud of our children. Nonetheless, we should not be boastful to the point of hurting others. The old adage of "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me" is far from true. Words leave lasting impressions on children and impact their self-esteem. For example, if my neighbors' daughter was told that she played a wonderful game, it wouldn't matter if she scored the winning goal or not. Isn't it enough that this child is healthy enough to be able to play soccer?
Tougher still is the necessary ability to devoid oneself from wanting one's child to win the top prize and recognizing what one's child is truly capable of achieving. This is a constant learning process because as a child grows, his or her abilities increase incrementally as well. Establishing reasonable goals is essential. For example, college academic and athletic scholarships are a wonderful thing, especially as college tuitions are skyrocketing, but not every child has to be the next Sandra Day O'Connor, Bill Bradley, Mia Hamm or Tiger Woods in order to be successful in life. Rather than focusing on what our children cannot do or what trophy they did not win, we as parents need to delight in what makes our children unique and special to us.
"Sanctity of Sport"
by David Sean Brennan
Trash-talking, chest-bumping, fists flying, in your face sports...is this what sports are all about in today's society? We view it on our television screens every evening, as the media often publicizes these flamboyant behaviors of our sports figures, from the antics of Dennis Rodman on the basketball court, to Bobby Knight's temper tantrums, to Neon Deion high-stepping into the endzone. We see fights on the football field, brawls on the baseball diamond and melees in the boxing ring. While these sports are not the only guilty parties, they do receive the most exposure. Every evening, children and young adults watch their favorite sports heroes and emulate them the next day on the courts or on the playing fields. If today's sports heroes lack the qualities that constitute sportsmanship, such as honesty, integrity and humility, our youth will follow in the same footsteps.
Unfortunately, they have already begun. The sanctity of sport, where true sportsmanship is embodied, is under fire. Lately you read about incidents of poor sportsmanship in peewee football, little league and other sport programs involving young children. It has become a trickle down effect from the professional ranks to collegiate to high school and so on. But who is to blame? Do we blame the kids, the professional athletes, parents, coaches and/or the media? I'm not even sure if one party is to blame. Maybe everyone is responsible.
These days winning has become the number one priority, from professional sports to youth sports. With winning comes media exposure, money, job security and much more. In college football, one more victory could result in a $12 million dollar bowl game payoff versus $4 million if you come one win shy. This past year, Florida's loss to Alabama in the SEC Final sent them to the $4 million Florida Citus Bowl game and Alabama to the $12 million Orange Bowl game. That seems like a lot of pressure to win for anyone, especially a 19-year old running back or quarterback. Somewhere down the line the priorities got mixed up. And unfortunately, with the ever growing mentality of winning only, sportsmanship got tossed aside, as well as the sanctity of the sport.
Sadly a trend has begun, summed up nicely by Philadelphia 76er Allen Iverson, "I would rather win than have good sportsmanship." I will admit that winning is the goal in professional sports, mainly because professional sports is business first, sport second. But in youth soccer or any other youth sport, winning should be secondary, because the sanctity of sport still exists. At that young an age, kids should be learning about teamwork, fair play, fundamentals of the game and especially how to have fun. However, many coaches and parents do not see it that way. You see more and more coaches yelling at their players over mistakes, and their players are nine years old! Coaches are even getting ejected from youth games because they argue with referees. Is this the kind of example we want to set for young children?
Some parents are just as bad. Too many parents are trying to live their sport fantasies vicariously through their children. Parents who were not good enough at sports or did not make it to the next level, feel they will succeed through their kids' exploits. Sometimes I think this parental pressure on kids goes to the extreme. Frequently these days we hear about parents, while watching their children play sports, getting into fights with the opposing teams' parents. What has this world come to when police are needed in bleachers of high school, even middle school, sporting events to keep the peace between unruly parents?
Profanity has also become widespread through sports. Have you ever been at a sporting event, be it professional, collegiate, or even high school, and behind you some guy is yelling and cursing at a referee or a player. Not only is it inappropriate in general, but it is being used in an environment where many young children can hear it and will assume that it constitutes appropriate behavior. And the sad thing is that the rude obnoxious fan has his own child sitting right next to him.
How can we expect kids to demonstrate sportsmanship when their parents and coaches can not act in a civil manner? It is the parents and the coaches that young children are with on a daily basis who have an immediate impression on them. I am not trying to preach sportsmanship to you, but to give you a better understanding of some of the problems that face sport today, especially in youth sports.
Not only do we need to teach young children about sportsmanship, but we need to educate parents and coaches on how many of them are role models in the eyes of young ones. If they don't serve as role models, then the child's favorite professional athlete on television will. We all know Charles Barkley and his famous quote, "I am not a role model." Unfortunately, Charles, due to the power of the media, you have become one, even if you choose not to accept it. Don't get me wrong, there are many professional athletes who are role models and exhibit sportsmanship, but unfortunately they are not the ones who get the press. It wasn't until a couple summers ago during the McGwire-Sosa home run chase that true sportsmanship, exhibited in such as positive manner, was celebrated in the media. If you think hard, it is a lot easier to recollect acts of poor sportsmanship than instances of good sportsmanship, especially as reported in the media.
It's time for everyone to take a moment and remember when sports were fun for young children and sportsmanship was a value that was instilled in everyone. On March 7, 2000 more than 12,000 elementary, middle and high schools, as well as colleges and universities in all 50 states and more than 101 countries will be celebrating National Sportsmanship Day, sponsored by CIGNA HealthCare. The objective of National Sportsmanship Day is to promote students' appreciation of the critical role of ethics, honesty, peaceful conflict resolution and fair play in athletics and society, through the mediums of education and sport. By reinforcing the principles of sportsmanship and fair play to students, National Sportsmanship Day will not only raise awareness, but will teach them valuable lessons that can be used throughout their lives, not just on the athletic field or court. I think this would be a good day for all parents and coaches to reflect on the meaning of sportsmanship and how they can help protect the sanctity of sport for their children.
I think it's time for kids to have fun again.
Brennan is the director of National Sportsmanship Day, a program founded by the Institute for International Sport, a non-profit organization based at The University of Rhode Island.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines:
Sportsmanship: noun; The qualities and conduct befitting a sportsman (sportswoman).
Sportsman (Sportswoman): noun; One who abides by the rules and accepts victory or defeat graciously
TEACHING KIDS TO BE "GOOD SPORTS"
by Dr. Darrell J. Burnett
"Sports do not build character. They reveal it." - Heywood Hale BrownYouth Sports: The Last Vestige of Sportsmanship We're living in an age where the preservation of traditional values can no longer be taken for granted. It seems we need to have reminders (books, movies, newspaper articles, etc.) to maintain our awareness of the importance of preserving the basic human values which are essential to the survival of a community.
It's no different in the world of sports. The traditional value of sportsmanship is being challenged from all sides: professional, college, high school, and even in youth sports. There are some who say sportsmanship is becoming a lost art and that unless we remind ourselves of the essentials of sportsmanship and strive to maintain the basics of sportsmanship it will gradually fade as other values have done in our society.
In the midst of all this, it seems doubly important that we recommit ourselves to guiding our youth, reminding them what sportsmanship is all about, rewarding them for showing good sportsmanship and showing, by our example, that sportsmanship is still alive and valued in youth sports today.
Here's a 10-item checklist for kids to follow as they try to develop a habit of good sportsmanship.
1. I abide by the rules of the game.
Part of good sportsmanship is knowing the rules of the game and playing by them. If a player decides to play a given sport, it is the responsibility of that player to learn not only how to play but how to play according to the rules which have been established and standardized to allow competitive games to be played in an orderly fashion. The more a player knows the rules the more that player can enjoy the sport.
2. I try to avoid arguments.
Part of good sportsmanship is anger management. Arguing with officials, coaches or opponents is often simply a misguided effort at "letting off steam" in the heat of competition. A good sport knows that anger can get in the way of a good performance. A good sport knows how to walk away from an argument and to stay focused on the game at hand.
3. I share in the responsibilities of the team.
Good sportsmanship implies that the player on a team is a team player. In other words, the player understands that his or her behavior reflects on the team in general. Moreover, a team player does not condone unsportsmanlike conduct from teammates and reminds players that they all share in the responsibility of promoting good sportsmanship.
4. I give everyone a chance to play according to the rules.
In youth recreational sports the more talented players, if they are good sports, will look out for and encourage the less talented players on the team, cooperating with coaching plans to let everybody play. Unfortunately, some coaches may become so preoccupied with winning at all costs that they never play some players, regardless of the time and effort they put in at daily practices, even when the score warrants clearing the bench.
5. I always play fair.
Honesty and integrity should be an integral part of sports. A player with good sportsmanship does not want a hollow victory which comes as a result of cheating ("dirty" fouls, ineligible players, performance enhancing drugs, etc.)
6. I follow the directions of the coach.
A player with good sportsmanship listens to and follows the directions of the coach, realizing that each player's decisions affect the rest of the team. If a player has disagreements with the coach, the player discusses the disagreements privately in a civil manner, away from the public eye.
7. I respect the other team's effort.
Whether the other team plays better, or whether they play worse, the player with good sportsmanship does not use the occasion to put the other team down. In the field of competition respect for opponents is central to good sportsmanship. If an opponent out-performs a player that player accepts it, learns from it, offers no excuses and moves on. If a player out-performs an opponent, that player enjoys the victory, but does not gloat, does not belittle, and does not minimize the opponent's effort.
8. I offer encouragement to teammates.
A sign of good sportsmanship is a player who praises teammates when they do well and who comforts and encourages them when they make mistakes. Criticizing teammates in the heat of battle simply distracts from the focus of working together and gives the advantage to the opponent who develops a sense of confidence when seeing signs of weakness or a lack of unity in the midst of the competition.
9. I accept the judgment calls of the game officials.
Part of the human condition is making mistakes. Arguing with an official over a judgment call simply wastes energy. The player with good sportsmanship knows that errors may be made, but the player also knows that a game is made up of all the plays and calls from the beginning to the end of the game, not just the call in dispute. The player with good sportsmanship may be upset, but that player also has learned to focus his/her energies back on the game and on doing the best he/she can do for the rest of the game.
10. I end the game smoothly.
When the game is over, pouting, threatening, cajoling have no place in the life of the players with good sportsmanship, who emphasize the joy of participating, regardless of outcome. They're not devoid of emotions but they know that their efforts to end the competition smoothly, without antagonistic emotional display, will help ensure that the games will continue in the future.
On a final note, a word of caution. We can't be so naive as to think that by teaching and valuing sportsmanship in our youth we will ensure that they will take these values with them into their young adult and adult sports lives. However, if we don't expose them to the essentials of sportsmanship, and if we don't guide them in developing a sense of good sportsmanship, we can all but guarantee that they will fall prey to the young adult and adult world of sports and athletics, with its continued tendency to minimize sportsmanship, and maximize winning as the only real value in competitive athletics.
Sportsmanship Checklist for Kids
1. I abide by the rules of the game.
2. I try to avoid arguments.
3. I share in the responsibilities of the team.
4. I give everyone a chance to play according to the rules.
5. I always play fair.
6. I follow the directions of the coach.
7. I respect the other team's effort.
8. I offer encouragement to my teammates.
9. I accept the judgment calls of the game officials.
10. I end the game smoothly.
Sportsmanship is the ability to:
win without gloating
lose without complaining
treat your opponent with respect.
Sportsmanship Tips
If you make a mistake, don't pout or make excuses. Learn from it, and be ready to continue to play.
If a teammate makes a mistake, offer encouragement, not criticism.
If you win, don't rub it in.
If you lose, don't make excuses.
Dr. Burnett is a clinical and sport psychologist, parent, national lecturer, author, consultant and volunteer youth league coach who has been in private practice for more than 20 years working with troubled youth and their families, specializing in positive parenting. He is also an Institute for International Sport Sports Ethics Fellow. For a catalog describing all his materials call (800).493.5943
Email: djburnet@pacbell.net. Website: www.djburnett.com
"Good Sportsmanship Takes a Conference-Wide Commitment"
By Big Ten Conference Commissioner James E. Delany
The Big Ten Conference is committed to improving the overall standards of behavior by which all people in athletics treat each other. Intercollegiate athletics exists within the context of higher education, and we feel the sportsmanship message is one that is vital to the educational role athletics has to play in the lives of young people.
To follow through on this commitment that is shared by Conference coaches and athletic administrators alike, the Big Ten has developed a sportsmanship program that has helped create a healthy environment of mutual respect at all contests. The program essentially consists of three elements:
- A clear, straight-forward set of rules and review procedures,
- A comprehensive program that touches everyone involved with the competitive experience, and
- Good communication about the program within the Conference, and pro-active external communication about positive examples of sportsmanship conduct.
The review procedures provide a fair and prompt means by which to review allegations of misconduct, allowing the institution involved to have the first opportunity to take responsibility for what has occurred and self-impose an appropriate penalty. An appeal procedure is available should it be necessary.
For any program of this nature to work it is important to have everyone on board from the beginning. Communication about the Conference sportsmanship message is something that occurs at coaches' meetings, student-athlete orientations, officials' clinics, through PA announcements at games, printed messages in game programs, and other communications with band directors, cheerleaders, spirit squad leaders, scorer's table personnel, game managers, radio and television commentators. Everyone who plays a role in helping shaping the competitive experience for student-athletes, also has a role to play in communicating the message about the importance of sportsmanship. We all teach and lead by example as much as by what we say.
Last but not least, we believe it is important to be pro-active in communicating a positive message about the many good things student-athletes do. No one is born knowing what good sportsmanship looks like, its something we all learn. People need to see examples of good behavior, especially young people who are looking for role models. We accomplish this by asking our television partners to focus on positive acts of sportsmanship when they can, by providing the media with story ideas that represent the ideals we aspire to teach, and by featuring "People You Should Know" in Conference press releases and on our web site.
Instances like the football player who extends his hand to help a fellow opponent after a play is over, or the Wisconsin rowing boat that loses the race because they stopped to pick up a competitor who had fallen into the water and was near hypothermia, or the Minnesota men's ice hockey team that raised money to help rebuild an opponent's arena that was badly damaged by the devastating floods in North Dakota - are far more frequent occurrences than what we learn through the media. These are just a few examples of laudable conduct that can be an example for all of us in how to treat each other respectfully.
For the Big Ten Conference, sportsmanship is an action verb in our language - it is something we actively seek to teach and reinforce through our words and our actions at every opportunity.
James E. Delany is also an Institute for International Sport Sports Ethics Fellow.
…10 Steps to Creating Heroes
Executive Director
Women's Sports Foundation
I. SPORT IS A CLASSROOM
Some very good things happen because of the structure and nature of sport - or any performing art such as drama or dance. The nature of these activities is that the performer is placed in a space spotlighted for the audience where he or she is clearly responsible for his or her actions, good or bad.
This personal responsibility for the performance of a skill has a stunning effect on the performer. If the player measures up to the task, it is the source of tremendous pride and confidence which produces self esteem and a strong self image.
The likelihood of this happening in sport or dance or drama is very great. The skills are well defined, you can practice your lines or pitches a hundred times before the game. Even when you compete and lose, the player and audience are capable of making the judgement that the player performed well and is very talented.
This gift of self esteem and pride is the source of many of the sport benefits that you hear about: those who play sport are less likely to experience a teen pregnancy or do drugs, more likely to graduate from high school and get better grades, etc. When you respect yourself, you take care of yourself.
Not so with values. Sport is not inherently good or bad. There is nothing particularly good or bad about a player throwing an air-filled leather bladder through an empty ring set exactly 10 feet off the earth. There is nothing good or bad about being the blue and white team or the red and black team. How players behave in sport - whether they follow the rules, treat their opponents with respect, are generous with their acknowledgement of the skills of others…all of these things are a function of their values.
The coach is the person who holds the carrot of participation. You choose who to allow to play. If a player wishes to play, he or she must follow your rules of behavior as well as performance. Every player reflects the values of his or her coach. It is the coach who will require that an opponent who falls be helped to his or her feet. It is the coach who will require that hands be shaked after a game. It is the coach who will applaud the good play of an opponent and be emulated by his or her players. It is the coach who allows a player to do violence to an opponent or to exhibit disrespect.
Many times coaches do not think of their responsibility. We simply coach like those coaches who have coached us in the past, especially the ones that taught us well. Often we do not think of the values that went along with the skill teaching.
II. 10 CHALLENGES…for people who care about kids.What are your values? What values are you transmitting to your players. Whatever they are, they will be held onto for a lifetime. They will coach and teach and treat others as you coach them. This is a tremendous personal responsibility
How do we fill in the blank value slate on the playing fields of sport?
#1 Sport Must Be Fun
Skill because it is no fun to strike out three times in a row or swing your leg at a soccer ball and miss it Respect because it is no fun when a player is demeaned or ridiculed Encouraged because it is no fun when a player is constantly criticized Every day coaches must ask themselves whether they are creating an environment that is chock full of these three things
Time on task. How many times are my players repeating the skills I want them to learn? As much as a coach would like to think that a skill is learned because he or she has explained it so well, most learning comes from trial and error. The more opportunities we give a player to practice, the more they will determine how to get the desired result…we just help along the way in their process of figuring it out.
There is no place for terror or threats in the teaching of others
#2 Keeping Winning & Losing In PerspectiveWe must constantly remind our players that a bad game, a poor practice, an error does not mean that he or she is a bad person. We must always explain the different between performance and self worth.
Who provokes us to do better? Answer: Our opponent. Ultimately, sport is a test between two players or teams and they set the standard to win for each other. Our opponents draw out the best from us and should be respected for that. Every coach has a responsibility to point out this fact to their players. Every coach has a responsibility to demand that players respect their opponents. There is never a justification for a coach to depict opponents as enemies or people who should be hurt or disrespected.
It is the coach's responsibility to design fair contests. To choose a selection of players or opponents that results in a fair contest. Players don't learn very much when they beat a poor opponent 50-1.
When you win against a poor opponent, you learn very little. You learn that you are better than an opponent who is not very good.
When you lose to a good opponent, you learn a great deal. You learn the difference between losing and having won. You learn what it takes to win. Would you rather lose a game of tennis playing against Venus Williams than win a game playing against a unskilled player?
#3 The Gift of SkillEvery coach has the obligation to teach players that what really matters is improving your personal best…improving your personal performance. We must create measures of personal performance that make this clear to our players…numbers of aces, numbers of errors, best times, etc.
Great players never talk about the time they spent practicing. They always talk in numbers. "I hit 500 backhands, 500 forehands, 150 top spin serves. Repetition creates consistence performance and excellence in performance.
Many coaches think that it is their responsibility to create players. That players are nothing without them. Our responsibility is just the opposite. We have a responsibility to create players who are all they could be without us. When a player enters the playing field, he or she cannot take a coach along. They must think and do themselves. Thus, our responsibility is to transfer the gift of knowledge. We must create checklists in their minds. They need to walk away from their experience knowing everything we know and being able to teach others.
We cannot teach in a vacuum and expect them to visualize what we expect of them. We must take them to see good players and good performances. Much of what we learn comes through emulation and imitation.
#4 Finding the Right SportWatching the highly skilled does two things: (1) it places an image alongside knowledge…a picture and a caption…which makes skills or concepts easier to grasp and (2) it provides inspiration, "I want to be like Mike" or "I want to be like Venus". We must create these opportunities for our players…watching film, watching video, watching live contests…
Coaches often identify highly skilled athletes and convince them to play their sport. We must never forget that there are over 100 sports out there and one is just right for the body type, skill and interest of a player. It is our responsibility to help players identify the sport that is just right for them. Our desire to assemble a good team cannot dictate what might be best for each player. We need to think beyond our well being and take an unbiased look at the needs of our players.
This doesn't mean that players should be allowed to quit at any time or if they are not successful immediately Parents and coaches should ask players to commit to the new sport until they have their first success experience. Players quit when they aren't having fun and oftentimes it is because they haven't learned the skills well enough to experience success.
#5 Involve/Teach ParentsGet a commitment from each player before you start. Explain why you want this promise. Explain the importance of a success experience to having fun and determining whether this sport is for you.
-- positive reinforcement
-- skill words (not judgement)
-- perspective
-- sportsmanship
There are those who believe that the best place for parents is not in sport; that they are negative forces. We must think just the opposite. We have an obligation to teach them to be positive forces. We must ask them to behave as if they entered the English classroom and were watching their children learn. We must ask them to be positive forces. We must ask them to help their children do homework.
#6 Responsibility as DisciplineWe must work to have the athlete and the parent understand that there is a checklist to watch for in every skill and that the parent can be a child's mirror. The best situation is to have the child teach the parent the checklist and to explain to the parent how he or she can help.
The coach has the ultimate power to get a player to focus on their behavior - the carrot of participation. If a player behaves poorly, he or she can be taken out of the game…not for punishment but for having the time to focus on correcting behaviors and attitudes
There is great value in the concept of "time out" as a means of imposing discipline. Make sure your player understands that the time out is limited to that period in which it takes the player to figure it out themselves.
The coach chooses the timing re: when a player can have the conversation necessary to exact his or her return to the game - which must be explained. You have responsibilities to other players. Maybe you don't get the chance to talk until after the game or a time out. But a player should not return until he or she has accepted responsibility and demonstrated that he or she understands how to correct the behavior and what is expected.
#7 Constant Repetition of Value MessagesCoaches should not "tell", they should "ask" a player if he or she understands why participation has been removed. It is only in this process that the coach can determine whether the player truly understands expectations.
- cheat = dishonest
- argue calls = whiner
- drugs = cheat/no respect for body
Coaches need to constantly repeat this mantra…"How you play is who you are." "How you play is how people will judge you." "How you play is a reflection of who you are as a person." "How do you want people to think of you?"
Value learning is tough stuff. It's important for coaches to separate performance and self-worth in the way they criticize. It is hard for players to believe that you are not criticizing their worth when you are angry.
#8 Embrace DiversityIf you don't comment on poor performance or poor behavior you are saying it is okay. You are accepting it. You must speak out.
- sport/position race segregation
- denigration/limitations of females
Our society has a history of discrimination in sport - against females, racial minorities and the disabled It is our responsibility to recognize and correct this in our small worlds…on our teams..in our neighborhoods Look around you and see if there is diversity on your team. What are you going to do about it? Are minority players playing the skill position?
We must do as we say…talk is cheap…we need to fix it.
We can't look for excuses. There are no persons of color in my neighborhood. We need to figure out how to play those teams or attract those players.
#9 Good People=Good ProgramAll of us have bias that reflect the environment in which we were brought up. It is our job to recognize those bias and create a better world for our players.
You must select people who can teach skills and values. They are inseparable. Do not tolerate bad people…no matter how many wins We all know stories about parents who will hire coaches who may even be sexual predators or have a history or unethical behavior if that coach will bring a national championship or Olympic opportunity to the team. This cannot happen if we really care about our children. Hold all coaches to standards…write it down, sign it #10 Teach HeroesThere should be written behavioral and ethical standards for coaches. They should be handed to them in writing and be asked to sign on the dotted line that they understand their responsibilities. Challenge players to be role models - from day 1 On the first day you meet your players, you must explain that younger kids will be watching and emulating them. You must explain their responsibilities and challenge them to be role models and heroes. Teach generosity Insisting on saying it's okay when a teammate commits an error or complimenting an opponent on a great play is teaching generosity. This is our responsibility. Teach pressure=fun Create situations every day where your players fantasize themselves in a pressure situation. Bases loaded with no one out. Can you rise to the occasion? The more situations and practice you create, the more likely it is that the real situation will not be intimidating; that it will be "been there, done that!" Teach confidence/humility...suave Generosity, pressure, repetition, confidence, humility…being suave…You can create heroes!The illusion of confidence is as important as the reality of confidence. You can practice looking confident. You can practice acting confident. Pretty soon, it becomes confidence. Like anything else, repetition is the key to performance.
"Visit WomenSportsFoundation.org for everything you want to know about women's sports, information on $180 million in grants and scholarships and more."
"Fans and Sports Ethics: The Walter Payton Example" by
Eileen M. Angelini, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Foreign Languages,
Director of the Foreign Language Program
Philadelphia University
School of General Studies
School House Lane and Henry Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19144-5497
tel: (215) 951-2613
fax: (215) 951-6888
e-mail: AngeliniE@philau.edu
Ethics in sports is not limited to the athletes and officials on the playing field. Ethics also applies to fans. As a longtime and devoted Boston Red Sox fan, I myself was upset by some of the calls made by the officials during the 1999 Boston Red Sox/New York Yankee American League Championship Series. However, I was discouraged by the behavior demonstrated by those fans who began to throw rubbish on the field during the fourth game of the series. I could sympathize with their frustration, as I was equally bothered with the poor officiating, but do not feel that the fans should have made the players and coaches feel uneasy by their actions.
Nevertheless, fans also have proven time and time again that their loyalty to their teams and/or favorite players does not always necessarily lead to negative reactions. A case in point is the recent special memorial service for Walter Payton, one of professional football's greatest running backs in the history of the game, on Saturday, November 6, 1999 at Soldier Field in Chicago. It was an incredible gesture on the part of the Chicago Bears' Organization to have a service that would include the fans of Payton and to have it take place not as part of a pre-/post-game or half-time activity. Saturday was dedicated to Payton alone and it was to be shared by his family, fellow teammates, coaches, and fans alike.
The stadium was packed and from the highlights that I was able to view on ESPN, everyone involved was pleased with and emotionally moved by the day's happenings. For the service, the Chicago Bears' Organization had requested that fans bring a toy to donate to the Walter Payton Foundation, an organization founded by him in 1988 to help Chicago's neediest children. Fans didn't just come with one toy, they came with multiple toys. In fact, they donated so many new toys that the volunteers from the Walter Payton Foundation could not keep up with the ever-increasing mounting piles of toys.
Furthermore, shortly after Payton had made the public announcement about his rare and incurable liver disease, he made a commercial encouraging organ donation. The Chicago Bears' Organization supported this effort made by Payton by conducting numerous follow-up publicity campaigns and drives. It should be noted that Payton never did make an announcement about his having bile duct cancer because he didn't want people feeling sorry for him. The most heartwarming interviews that I saw during the memorial service on Saturday, November 6th were with fans who had just finished registering for the organ donation program. Once again, the line was incredibly long with fans who, inspired by Payton, wanted to help. These fans went one step beyond that taken by the nearly three dozen people that offered their liver to Payton if it would keep him alive because these fans did want Payton would have wanted: they made a vow to help their fellow citizen.
For an athlete that avoided the limelight but concentrated on being a team player and solid role model for children, it does us all good to experience the care and giving demonstrated by Payton's fans. May Payton serve as a role model for all future big-name athletes and may his fans serve as role models for us all.
Whatever happened to good sportsmanship? Whatever happened to good sportsmanship? Has it just been lost with other anti-social behavior?In this day you more frequently hear about road rage, uncontrollable behavior and just simply unexplainable actions. For instance, did you read about the Wisconsin man who was mad at his washing machine and shot it? Three times?After pushing it down a flight of stairs?
It's no wonder that boorish and unsporting behavior prevail at our athletic events. When was the last time you saw a player bend over to help an opponent up off the ground? Have you been to any athletic event lately, from playground soccer to a professional contest, where you have not heard booing, directed either at the opponent, the officials or even the home team?
Sports are just an extension of our societal mores. It's time that good old fashioned courtesy sneaks back into our lives. Congratulations to the opponent after a tough play. Lining up to shake hands following a hotly-contested game. Recognizing publicly that the other team or players were worthy of a win. Teams can get beaten by better teams.
Nothing should bother a parent more than to see their son or daughter taunt another player or team or show disgust towards an official, but it happens. At many games you see the parents acting disgracefully and so shouldn't be a surprise when our children emulate them.
Establishing values, showing respect for each other, decent public behavior, and exerting good sportsmanship should not be something we remember from the past, but rather something we reestablish and pass on to future generations.
Craig Thompson, Commissioner, Mountain West Conference.
WHAT IS SPORTSMANSHIP? A BASIC PRIMER FOR ALL ATHLETES
By Rick Wolff
Chairman, The Center for Sports Parenting
Coaches, educators, referees, and parents all talk about sportsmanship, but what exactly is it? Here's a quick 10-step review:
Sportsmanship is ...
- sincerely congratulating your opponent after he's just defeated you - especially after a close game.
- personally checking up on an injured opponent who has been taken off the playing field during the game.
- giving the ref or ump a pat on the back for a job well done, even though you or your team lost.
- being mature enough to know that sometimes, in sports, it's not that your team lost - it's just that the other team won.
- having the courage - and diplomacy - to let a loud-mouthed parent on the sidelines know that they're beginning to lose their perspective on the game.
- not giving into the temptation of cheating in order to pursue your own personal goal of victory.
- knowing that running up the score against your opponent doesn't accomplish anything of a positive nature.
- understanding that when the game is over, it's time to shake hands, smile, and move on.
- knowing when your jubilation and celebration on the playing field is getting out of hand and is beginning to embarrass your opponent.
- the Golden Rule applied in sports. Treat your opponents in the same manner that you'd like to be treated. Keep that one simple rule in mind, and you'll always be looked upon as an athlete who understands and honors the rules of sportsmanship.
PROFANITY IN YOUTH SPORTS
Kids, Coaches, & Parents: An "Attitude" Problem
Darrell J. Burnett, Ph.D.
During the past year I witnessed three youth sports players overreacting to an official's call. A female volunteer umpire called a third strike. The batter glared at her and said, "That was a ball, Bitch!" A soccer official flashed a yellow card at a player, who hunched his shoulders, pursed his lips, got up in the official's face and said, "You're full of s..t!" A basketball referee called a 5th foul on a player, who then furiously stomped off the court making an obscene gesture with his finger.
The three players had one thing in common: they were all ten years old!
Adult "Profanity" Role Models
Profanity is creeping into youth sports. I guess it was just a matter of time until the kids picked up what they've been seeing and hearing from adults in televised sports.
- Professional athletes "lose it" on TV, with sizzling interviews liberally interspersed with "Bleeps".
- TV cameras zoom in on coaches who lose their cool and get in the face of officials, flailing away with a stream of four letter words.
- TV close-ups show college athletes mouthing obscenities in reaction to an official's call.
The media loves to show an adult who is out of control. It makes for great ratings.
But we can't lay all the blame on the media. Go out to a local youth sports event and listen to the adults involved, whether coaches or parent spectators. With veins bulging in their necks, some yell out obscene remarks at the officials, at the opponent and sometimes at their own players!
An "Attitude" Problem
When I see profanity creeping into youth sports I get concerned because it indicates an attitude. People don't usually use profanity unless they are considerably upset about something. Profanity seems to have developed as a way underlining how angry or frustrated or hurt we are. It usually occurs when a situation is tense, threatening, unsettling, etc. It doesn't usually occur when people are having fun. Attitude is defined as "a person's behavior, which indicates his/her thoughts, feeling, or opinions." How is that profanity is appearing in youth sports, where the major focus and "attitude" is supposed to be fun?
You can tell kids' attitudes toward youth sports by watching their behaviors during practice or a game. If they see a game as a game, with an opportunity to learn skills, compete, increase confidence and have fun, they're able to "go with the flow", have fun and relax. They're able to show a sense of humor and a sense of sportsmanship, winning without gloating and losing without complaining. They're able to handle and learn from their mistakes. If kids see a game as a game, there will be no reason for profanity.
When I see kids using profanity in reaction to an official's call in a game, that tells me they have a whole different attitude towards youth sports. Show me kids who use profanity and I'll show you kids who see the game as a pressure-filled event, with winning as the only acceptable outcome. I'll show you kids who are spending most of their energy trying not to make mistakes. I'll show you kids who, if they make mistakes (which is inevitable in youth sports), will waste lots of energy making excuses and blaming others.
Message to Adults: "Your attitude is Showing!"
Why is profanity starting to show up more in youth sports? We know how kids learn to use profanity. They see it; they hear it; they try it. Kids have had their "mouths washed out with soap" for generations. Most youth sports have rules and consequences for using profanity. Some kids will respond, some won't.
A more important question is, how did the ten-year-olds quoted above develop an attitude toward youth sports that got them so upset, frustrated, stressed out, etc., that they reacted with profanity? I think the answer may lie in the old saying, "The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree." As parents, we have to be aware that our behaviors, whether as spectators or as coaches, often set the tone for our kids' attitudes toward youth sports. Do we give positive encouragement, or critical judgmental remarks? Do we show a calm demeanor, or heated overreactions to mistakes? Do we praise participation, or game statistics? Are we preoccupied with standings, all-star status and trophy accumulation? Have we developed a reputation for hurling offensive remarks at the officials or opponents? It's confusing for kids. They're told to "have fun", but they see and hear adults on the sidelines who appear to be having anything but fun.
As adults, we often tend to focus on the "end product", rather than the "process". When an adult arrives at game's end and sees the kids coming off the field, what is the first word out of his/her mouth? It's usually, "Who won?" or "Did you score any goals (get any hits, etc.)?" With our emphasis on the end product, we run the risk of teaching our kids to focus strictly on outcome rather than process. Their idea of success then becomes based upon outcome (winning) rather than process (skill improvement). Mistakes are no longer viewed as opportunities to learn. They are seen as occasions of failure, setting the scene for profane overreactions.
Research has shown that elite athletes focus on tasks, not trophies. That is, they focus on the process of their skill development, measuring their progress in terms of frequency, duration, or intensity. They have an intense desire to win, but most of their energy is spent competing against themselves. They don't overreact to their mistakes, to their opponent, or to questionable calls by the official. Success in their eyes is measured by progress, not trophy size. They learn to control their anger and stay focused, regardless of the situation. They take sole responsibility for their athletic performance, blaming no one. These are solid goals for parents to set for their young athletes and profanity can only get in the way.
So, if you're an adult involved in youth sports and you come across one of those mouthy ten-year-olds mentioned above, it's not enough to go for the soap. You've got to change the attitude. And it might involve changing your own. As parents, if you're looking to develop a positive attitude in your kids, you would do well to watch your own behaviors at athletic events. Next time you go to a game, remember, your attitude is showing and your kids are watching.
Dr. Darrell Burnett is a clinical and sport psychologist, author and lecturer. He was selected as a Sports Ethics Fellow by the University of Rhode Island's Institute for International Sport. He can be contacted through FUNAGAIN Press, P.O. Box 7223, Laguna Niguel, CA 92607-7223. Phone: 1-800-493-5943. Fax: (949) 495-8204. Email: funagain@pacbell.net Website: www.djburnett.com
KEEPING COLLEGE SPORTS A PART OF EDUCATION
by Linda Bensel-Meyers,
Director of Composition and Professor of English at the University of
Tennessee-Knoxville
American democracy depends on the university to cultivate the ethical dimension of our future leaders, not just how to think independently but how to act as socially-responsible citizens. While students learn to think for themselves in the classroom, they can experience the fruits of hard work, fair play, and teamwork in organized sports. When seen as a part of education, organized sports programs help college students develop their potential as vital members of a community, to learn how their success, in life as well as on the field of play, depends on how well they work cooperatively with others to help everyone become the best they can be. In our success-driven society, many students never learn how to see beyond their own achievements to cooperate with others towards a collective goal. Organized sports are one of the primary avenues for teaching that character lesson. In well-run athletic programs, students learn through the thrill of teamwork, the satisfaction of giving their best to others, how they can contribute productively to society. College sports can be the best way to cultivate humanity and responsible citizenship in America's future leaders; unfortunately, when colleges see sports not as a part of education but as big business, they can also be the worst way to prepare students to become responsible citizens. It is essential that we all work together to ensure that college sports do not teach our next generation that winning is more important than how you play the game.
Once money enters the picture, though, collegiate sports tend to focus on the win and not the play. As TV contracts, post-season bowls, and commercial endorsements continue to proliferate, universities are becoming more and more oblivious to their original mission. Intercollegiate sports have become big business for Division I athletic programs, and the difference between a win or a loss can sometimes be as great as several million dollars in revenues to the program. As more schools are seduced by the potential profits attached to successful intercollegiate competition, they are treating athletes more and more not as students but as investment capital, forgetting that college athletes have been promised an education in exchange for their participation on the field of play. The encroaching professionalization of college sports leads many large collegiate programs to waive academic requirements for the athletes so they have more time in the weight room, on the practice field, or on the road in competition. As athletic programs seek to remain competitive to maximize profits, they not only deny athletes access to an education but they increasingly pervert the educational value of sports. As I have seen at the University of Tennessee, we are unconsciously teaching the athletes not only that an education is not as important as the money they can make in the pros, but the uncivil values that they are "above the law" and that "might makes right." When colleges begin to conduct sports competitions as businesses, they lose sight of the integrity of sports as an alternative to battlefield ethics.
How did we let this happen? The problems are so difficult to address because they are systemic and historical. With the introduction of athletic scholarships, many under-privileged students began to see their athletic skills not as part of their education but as their "pay" for entrance to a good college. When athletic scholarships were reduced from four-year to annually renewable tuition waivers, we made it increasingly clear that, for college athletes, their performance on the field of play was more important than their performance in the classroom, making college sports less and less an educational activity. High schools began, as well, to help lower-income students into college by giving more attention to their athletic development than their education. Today, the practice can be initiated as early as elementary school, as young, aspiring athletes choose to focus on their potential as a Michael Jordan or a Ray Lewis. They see college as a way to the pros and education as an annoying obstacle to their success. Why learn to read and write if one can secure a multi-million dollar contract playing basketball or football?
America's educational system has happily enabled this trend, using colleges as profitable, professional training camps. Unfortunately, though, in the rush to capitalize on the trend, colleges and universities increasingly lose sight of what sports should teach and how they shape our nation's character. As intercollegiate competition becomes more professsionalized, colleges seek to recruit the best athletes, regardless of these athletes' academic preparation.The more professionalized the athletic recruit, the less prepared the student academically, often underprepared to do college work even if there were no demands of a rigorous training, practice, and competition schedule. In the race to sign the best athletes, many colleges pay little attention to academic skills. Once an athlete is admitted to the university on an athletic scholarship, to meet the NCAA standards of "academic progress," colleges will bend academic policies, establish "academic support" systems that do not give these students access to an education but essentially waive them from one. Tutors may attend class for the athletes, take notes for them, even go so far as to write papers and take tests for them, all so that the athletes' records will appear to meet the "academic progress" standards of the NCAA. With the money involved, it is in the institution's self-interest to ensure the continued eligibility of its best athletes at the expense of the athlete's right to an education.
I think what is most critical about the professionalization of intercollegiate sports is how it has perverted what we teach athletes. Instead of those civilizing lessons that sports can give--developing a responsible citizen who recognizes the value of fair play, cooperative sportsmanship, and the fruits of hard work--we are teaching athletes how to cheat, that they are more important than others who have to follow the rules, and that brute power--not hard work or an education--is the secret to success. The rise in crime among professional athletes is only the beginning. We are already seeing a rise in crime among collegiate and even high school students. This will continue, too, as former college athletes find they cannot compete in the pros but cannot read or write and must turn to crime to make their way.
What can we do about it? The first step is for college athletes to recognize when they are being exploited by the system. Although their athletic skills might get them into college, the chances they will make it in the professional leagues are slim to none. The competition is just too stiff, and, even if they do make it to the pros, the chances of a career-ending injury are great. In exchange for the huge profits their performance in athletics might bring to the instituion, all they are promised is an education. It is essential that college athletes take the opportunity to receive one. But college athletes cannot do it alone. As long as coaches are hired and fired based on win/loss records, they will be tempted to not renew an athletic scholarship for athletes who put too much time in their studies. As long as remaining eligible for the semi-professional competition of college sports is put in conflict with the educational needs of the student, the system works against the athlete. If college sports are to return to educating the character of the athlete, then the scholarship should be controlled by those with the athlete's educational interests at heart. Ideally, we would remove the oxymoron of the "athletic scholarship" and reintroduce four-year academic scholarships for those students who cannot afford college but wish to reach their full potential as both athletes and students.
Overall, the system needs to return collegiate sports to its educational role, to its potential to complete the educational experience of the student and not to serve the economic interest of the institution. Following is a good beginning, the proposals from The Drake Group, a national organization of university faculty devoted to reforming collegiate athletics to bring out the best in the student:
The Drake Group
College athletics has been transformed into a multi-billion dollar entertainment industry that has compromised the academic mission of the university. To restore academic integrity, to fulfill our obligation as faculty, and to protect the welfare of all students, The Drake Group proposes that:
1. The term "student-athlete" be retired.
2. Location and control of academic counseling and support services be transferred from athletics departments to academic counseling and support available for all students.
3. Universities publicly disclose the academic major, academic adviser, courses listed by academic major, general education requirements, and electives, including course GPA and instructor for all students. No student's grades will be disclosed.
Universities disclose for each intercollegiate athletic team the courses enrolled in by team members, the average of the grades given in the course, and instructor of the course, at the end of the semester.
4. Athletic contests be scheduled so as not to conflict with class attendance.
5. One-year athletic 'scholarships' under the control of coaches be replaced with four/five-year financial aid awards administered by academic officers.
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Phone: 1-800-447-9889(401) 874-2375Fax: (401) 874-2429E-Mail: info@internationalsport.com
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Institute for International Sport
c/o International Scholar-Athlete Hall of Fame The Feinstein Building, University of Rhode Island 3045 Kingstown Road, P.O. Box 1710 Kingston, Rhode Island 02881-1710 |
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